Feel, Search, Act

I identified the wave of emotion I felt
As my normal depression I feel
When I’ve finished a new project
And I had just done that, so I dealt it as usual.

But it came back and washed over me again.
God, I cried, what is it?
I’ve come so far dealing with this obsession.
What am I not facing now?

God was gentle in his guidance.
Look around.
What are the people you love in the middle of?
Are they not hurting, in need of understanding?

The worry and pain in the lives of people
Hit me again as I followed God’s focus.
And I understood I had unconsciously internalized it,
Actually experiencing it as if it truly were my own.

Not realizing what I’d done, I hadn’t given that grief to God.
It’s like I had to start all over:
Identifying the source of the grief, working out why I responded this way,
Then taking it all back to God for resolution.

Yes, God faithfully took the pain and gave back wisdom,
Giving practical ideas for helping people,
Helping me put feelings and actions into their proper places:
Feel first, seek God’s wisdom, and then act.

Most people only see God’s wisdom through my life – my actions.
They can’t see feelings or searching – as real as they are to me.
I know they are essential. I don’t grow as a Believer without them.
But it is only when I live in God’s holy presence do I find the courage to act.

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